We live. That is, some of us really try to live. Unfortunately, there are those who don’t see the value in savoring every sweet moment possible from this gift. Yesterday, I encountered too many of those who either squander their breath on pettiness and meaninglessness or who compartmentalize their lives into living and surviving. I pity those who exist this way, but I really get ticked when they start infringing on my right to pursue happiness.
People, too many of them it seems, give in to foolishness. I know that sounds harsh but in my experience it is far too often true. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how along this journey the shallow-minded and the mean-spirited cannot be avoided (not often enough, anyway). I know my path is littered with the like. The truth is I like people. I love interacting and socializing with them; learning about them and loving them, but that doesn’t mean they don’t drive me crazy sometimes. Maybe that’s how God feels about us. Not that I’m even close to Him in terms of how I deal with and respond to them. If I were Him, I’m sure I’d be passing down some heavy judgment and embarrassing punishments. Lucky for me…and you, I am a mere mortal.
I suppose the good thing about all of this activity in my life is that it’s propelling me closer to the genuine pursuit of my dreams. And, helping me to determine what it really means to affect a life and change someone for the better. I’m learning that being nice and accepting bad behavior is not what makes me the best human being I can be. Sometimes being the best God intends of me means telling people no, rejecting manipulative alliances and disapproving of damaging behavior.
Witnessing so much unrest: miserable people who by association, intent or even involuntary compulsion are making those around them miserable (cliché as it is, misery doth love companionship); has caused me to take a greater stock of who I am and who I am becoming.
I’ve gone through a lot of phases in the past 31 years – my life thus far – and I’m now at a point where I am secure and confident enough to look at my life with a healthy critical eye. To make a rational and reasonable assessment of who I am without being ridiculously harsh or naively proud. Here is what I’m discovering:
I am a very intelligent person with depressingly underutilized potential.
Although I have found the courage to speak, sometimes it is not prudent to state what I “feel” needs to be said.
Some people find me quite attractive; others think I’m unremarkable. As difficult as it is for me to type, I’ve even been told I’m beautiful. But what really matters is that I appreciate my face and body as unique gifts and treat them accordingly. It’s nice to be told you look like a gorgeous starlet, but in the end I’m happy to look like me and you should be happy to look like you.
Beauty cannot be measured or determined conclusively by anyone.
Value is often the most misunderstood quality.
Finding a kindred spirit and soul friend brings the most indescribable joy to one’s heart! And, what creates this bond is a mystery that births the most indefinable familiarity.
Falling in love can happen in a few days or a few months. It can happen in the most mundane circumstances and unglamorous settings. Staying in love is a bit trickier. You can choose to stay in that love – even amid opposition and stress – with greater ease than falling out of it. Falling out of love requires either neglect or an act of God. If you go with the neglect route, then beware. Suddenly, in the most expected moments that love will pop up and seize your soul. What a funny, unruly thing it is.
Writing is my passion, but not my one and only. Being so passionate about so many things has made life a bit difficult for me. It sounds so smug I suppose, but having so many loves really has made me feel a bit unfaithful. I can honestly say that I burn with fervor for the pen, the song…from writing to performing to all things colorful and artistic I have been a fickle lover. Thus, I have often found myself nearly abstinent altogether! No more! Instead, I shall be a polygamist and romance all my loves with equal ardor!
If someone really upsets you or something is particularly annoying, tell a couple of trusted loved ones about it and then let it go. If it’s criminal or endangers you, tell everyone including the police and an attorney.
Laugh as much as you can without getting fired or committed.
Daydream and fantasize like you did when you were a kid. There’s nothing like it to release stress and reinvigorate your soul with hope except for prayer. The innocent longing and imaginings we experience and exercise as children should never be forgotten. Resurrect your fanciful side!
Sing out loud in the car; at home; outside. Again, like the laughter, use discretion so as to avoid getting fired, committed, or, in this case, disturbing the peace. Whether is opera, pop, heavy metal, just do it!! And, mix it up!
Dance around whenever you can. Lock the doors, kick off your shoes, and wear whatever makes you feel good and free – even if it’s nothing at all – and crank up the tunes. I strongly recommend doing this at least once a week. During that time you are the greatest dancer in the world and the most adoring audience all rolled into one. It is bliss. If this is not possible, lift your arms or roll your neck. Do something that frees you!
Spend time with kids. Whether they are you own, a friends, a relatives, babysitting, whatever, just do this whenever you are able. Hanging out with children who enjoy your company will boost your confidence, warm your heart and bring you joy and levity like nothing else. When I babysit two of my fave kids, they make me feel like the most lovely and beloved princess in the world. Of course, they are two of the most exceptional little girls on the planet, but I’m sure you can find a couple like them.
Own a pet. They will love you in a way that few people allow themselves to love. They will teach you to express affection, accept love, to be vulnerable and to be responsible. Plus, their little warm, furry bodies work better than heating pads.
Have an open-ended ongoing conversation…with God. My best days begin the night before: I fall asleep talking to Him and wake up with the sweetest words of praise, telling Him how much I love and adore Him. These are the most special moments and the only perfect times of my day. I cherish them.
To be continued….
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